How stress gets in the way of peri-menopause

At the risk of repeating myself… This is so important!

When we are adjusting to the hormone changes in our body, stress becomes more of a burden than we realise. Why? Because the adrenal glands are responsible for secreting stress hormones. But they are also responsible for mimicking oestrogen by creating oestrone. So while the adrenals are busy trying to maintain homeostasis for our endocrine system, they cannot cope with stress.

Have you noticed that if you get stressed, you burn out more easily?

What can you do about it? Restorative Yoga! Seriously, it has the most astonishing effect on the body. By propping yourself in such a way that your body is supported; held safely and securely, your nervous system can relax.

If you were to practice a restorative pose every day, you would cope better with stress. Why not have a one to one to learn 3 poses to suit your lifestyle so that you can practice something every day?

Leading the Way with Compassion

During the pandemic, it has been women who have led the way. Of the countries that had the best outcomes, New Zealand’s prime minister Jacinda Ardern is an example to us all. Not only did she do an incredible job at the outset but she has demonstrated that it is possible to lead AND be compassionate.

‘Too much focus on power and strength means leaders can lose sight of the need for kindness and empathy’ says Ardem. She believes people need authenticity and I couldn’t agree more.

As a Yoga therapist it is my job to show compassion and empathy, to offer support with kindness and to be authentic. I don’t honestly know how to be anything other than authentic! BUT I’m not always good at showing myself the same compassion.

According the compassion expert Kristin Neff, studies show that individuals who are self-compassionate experience fewer negative states like depression, anxiety, stress, shame, and negative body image—and these same people are more happy in their life, are more optimistic, and have better physical health.

So what’s stopping us from having greater self compassion?

I do believe that we should give ourselves a break! We are always doing our best after all. We could delegate more, teach our kids to help out, stop expecting perfection and take regular time look after our needs rather than always putting others first.

One of the best things though is to reach out to other women. We can empathise with one another and are most likely to understand. Even if we can’t be in the same room, we can offer kind words, advice or wisdom.

If you need to talk things over, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. We can go for a walk or have a conversation on Zoom. I’m here for you.

Stay well.

Anneliese

Lock-down Has Altered My Perception Of What's Important In Life

Every day I wake up and feel grateful for where I live.

When it became clear that our lives were going to change drastically, my main concern was financial. 2020 began disastrously with my husband losing a contract he had spent weeks tendering for. It meant that I was unable to network and tell people about my Relax Restore Revitalise programme that I’d just launched and which I felt was going to revolutionise my earning potential in this saturated yoga market. Instead, literally all my earnings had to go towards paying bills.

As a child I lived a very privileged life from a financial perspective. I didn’t want for anything. That’s not to say I was spoiled with toys and clothes - but as a family we had what we needed, we lived in large, very comfortable houses, we went on holidays and my siblings and I all attended private schools.

We weren’t so privileged on an emotional level, in fact childhood had many traumatic moments. Then at the age of 17 my mother and step father divorced. My mother moved to France a few years later, my sister was living in America and my brother in France. Both my real father and step father were estranged from me and I felt abandoned. It didn’t help that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

My husband (at that time my boyfriend) was set on becoming an airline pilot but his dream was dashed when the Gulf war broke out in 1990 and the training he was due to attend with British Airways was cancelled. By the time airlines began recruiting again, he was ‘too old.’ Both of us were uncertain about our futures.

Financial security has not really been present in our lives very often, in fact our reason for living at the farm is because my husband was made redundant while I was pregnant with my son and we were forced to sell our home in Shropshire and move in with his parents.

We realised that we were never going to be able to buy a house in Sussex so were extremely grateful when my husband’s parents decided to gift the farm to their 4 children, leaving us half the farm house which had to be divided and our half extended which cost us financially and emotionally (always difficult with family).

All this background is so that you understand why I am so insecure about money and why when we were first put into lock-down, I was stricken with panic.

But living this slow pace of life has enabled me to rest. In fact I took two weeks to switch off from work which gave me the opportunity to see where I could take my business. I had lost sight of where I was heading because I was totally obsessed with earning money to get through each month and eventually pay off the mortgage.

During lock-down we have got on top of so many jobs in the garden that needed doing which is incredibly satisfying. The studio has temporarily become an exercise room and green house until recently when we re-erected our old greenhouse and dug a large vegetable patch.

I spend hours each week planning menus. I am the designated shopper which I now do at 6 a.m once a week which doesn’t cause stress. I cook most of the meals and as such have not wasted any food!

Before lock-down I had been part of a women’s group who met on a monthly basis in a woodland to spend time in nature and connect to her wisdom. I have continued to be in nature and have relished the opportunity to take in my surroundings. I have listened to nightingales, spotted a common lizard, seen a huge slow worm, watched a variety of birds and love hearing the much more audible hum of insects.

I am enjoying a more physical exercise routine with Yoga playing its part afterwards to stretch my muscles and bring me into the present moment.

I love having my family together and playing the supportive roles of mother and wife. I relish that my extended family are meeting on Zoom and speaking more than we ever did before!

I have realised that what is important in my life is not money. It is family. It is love. It is nature. It is being there for others. It is being present.

May I be reminded of this wisdom frequently because what is important to me is living a healthy, wholesome, non materialistic life where I take only what I need and give back what I can in return. One where I accept that I have more than enough because I live in a beautiful house, in a beautiful part of the country, where I am surrounded by nature which nourishes me. It is a life where I put family first and work second because we’re should work to live, not live to work.

Mental Health at Menopause - Tips for staying sane!

This month saw Mental Health Awareness week and Wake up to the Menopause week on BBC Breakfast. As both subjects are passions of mine, I couldn’t decide which to write about. So I’m combining the two!

Around the time of the menopause one of the most common symptoms is increased anxiety. It is also true that if you have suffered from trauma and it is as yet unresolved, you are likely to find it rearing its ugly head at menopause.

I’ve mentioned the benefit of Ashwaghanda before but this adaptogenic herb is a wonder. An adaptogen is a herb that supports your body acclimate to stress. Stress is the root cause of anxiety so anything you can do to prevent or manage stress will also help.

Often at the transitional time of menopause, women are at their most busy; running a business or working long hours, managing family life, coping with elderly parents; all of which is stressful. Making time for yourself is the most important thing you can do. Women are notoriously bad at this. We feel guilty if we step away from our family. We feel that we SHOULD be there for everybody else, but this is stressful and you run the risk of compassion fatigue. Yes, it’s a thing!

Doing something that is relaxing, allows you to switch off mentally and that calms your nervous system will benefit. Literally step away from technology for a time.

Research shows that spending time in nature is fabulous for your mental well-being, so why not go for a brisk walk in the park or the countryside. Spending time with others, especially if they are understanding of what you are going through is extremely supportive. After all, a problem shared is a problem halved as they say. Find your tribe and regularly spend time with them.

If you are suffering from depression and finding it difficult to function, there are many things you can do. Rhodiola is another adaptogenic herb that can help with stress, anxiety and depression.

If you are taking ANY other medication, it is always worth speaking with your GP to make sure it is safe to take supplements. However, you might consider speaking with your GP anyway as according to Dr. Rosemary Leonard, author of Menopause - the Answers, anti-depressants can also suppress other menopausal symptoms.

Diet is important. What you eat can effect your mental health. Speak to a nutritional therapist if you need to but the two most important things to cut down on are alcohol and sugar. Alcohol may be your go to when you are stressed but the high you receive from the release of GABA is short lived. You go for another drink and another and soon find that you only feel that same high after a bottle.

Sweets, chocolate and carbohydrates are another choice when stressed but will spike your blood sugar levels and maybe even give you a high, but you will crash down very soon after and feel hungry again. At menopause we tend to gain weight around the middle which usually heightens your risk of cardiovascular disease. Plus the weight gain doesn’t help your self esteem if you are already suffering mentally.

From a yogic perspective, practicing daily will support your mental, physical and physiological well-being. Observe your energy levels and mental state and consider whether to practice some grounding techniques, strong poses or gentle stretches. There is something for every mood and even a breathing technique that cools your hot flushes. Pranayama is magical for mental well-being, as is chanting and meditation. Ten minutes of practice a day is better than one hour a week. If you come to a class, try and practice at home too. You are welcome to photograph my lesson plan to remind you of what you enjoyed.

Cardiovascular exercise really benefits you physically and mentally. I know it can be difficult to fit it in but ask your family to help. Perhaps they can cook for themselves once a week so that you can go to a class . You might take a ten minute walk before eating your lunch. Little and often is better than nothing at all and really boosts your mood.

The most important thing is NOT to suffer in silence. You are not alone. I am a great believer in choice so do your research, never dismiss advice, try something and if it doesn’t work, try something else; whether that is homeopathy, herbs, medication, yoga, meditation or counseling. What works for your best friend might not work for you, so keep an open mind.

Community, support and exercise will greatly benefit. Reach out to me or anyone else who might be able to help. If women are ill informed about menopause, men are going to be less so. TELL your partner and family what you need; it might be the only way you get your needs met.

Talk about the menopause. The more you do, the better educated future generations will be and the easier the transition will be for our daughters.

Go well . Namaste.

Anneliese